I was thinking the other day that being a human, in our own capacity what is the most difficult thing to do for us. And it turns out just today that its to listen.
P. S. i love the way in which which nature answers our thoughts.
To listen and not to answer technically goes against the human nature, for all our behaviors are a product of a stimulus response mechanism as explained by Thorndike and Skinner in their S-R Theories. That every human behavior is a reaction to some input from the environment. So if someone talks to us we respond back by talking.
One of the greatest challenges in my training for becoming a clinical psychology has been the struggle to control the impulse to respond by words and to replace my words with non-verbal responses. Beck’s concept of warmth and genuineness are not achieved without the verbal and non-verbal connotations of your attentive listening. So a ‘psychologist has to be a good listener’ is a very misunderstood and mis-quoted term for listening means actually listening and not responding to the verbal stimuli rather responding to the concern behind what has been said.
In our everyday communication if we start responding to the concerns and emotions rather than the words, i guess more than half a conflicts and arguments can be avoided. Relationships are built and broken with words because when in distress we are not aware of the words that we are using but these words do matter a lot in the long run. So being cognizant to what the person is saying and what we are retorting in should matter a lot.
So my communication motto; LISTEN TO THE EMOTIONS and not the words!!!