Being a student of Psychology, words like sympathy and empathy were not new for me. We are taught that everyone might not need your sympathy but they might work along with a lot of empathy. Some concepts no matter how much read and repeated take you by surprise when you are least prepared for them and that is when we go through the CHANGE for the best.
As the tradition goes, Pakistani’s as a nation are very sympathetic and hospitable nation (am not going to ramble about the recent conditions but this is how we have always been known) who would be in sync about your life and workings even more than your own self. This is good in some ways but might not be in others. Hearing gossip about ones’ self would be the least harming part but unknowingly hitting someone’s ego is another story.
I recently ended up with my leg in a cast for around 2 months, what I went through was enlightening, I mean of course it hurt like hell n everything, but the eyes, the responses made me stop and think about what we do unknowingly to people who have to live their lives as a handicap. It felt good to be pushed around in the wheel chair (as my friends made an event out of it) but then there were the comments…..ohhhhh becharrriiii jawan larki……..tauba tauba Allah bachaen is haal se…….uufffff wo dekho pooorrrr girl…..and then there were the looks and whispers, that went like……ab tou is becharriii ki shaadi bi nai ho gi……..she is pretty but maazoor hai whatever…….checking you out just out of sympathy……Goshhh it felt obnoxious to say the least.
I couldn’t stop thinking that being in a wheel chair for a month or walking with a stick for another, is just transitory soon these stares n comments would pass but how do people live with this??? We unknowingly make so many precious lives miserable just because we think this attention might help them??? Am sorry but this does not……
It is as lame as offering food to someone with a full stomach. People are special they don’t need our sympathies, they are precious they need to be cherished, and above all they feel so give them good stuff to feel. They have a handicap OK!!! It ends here they have it you can see it now move over it….they also have a life, a personality, and a heart. If you actually have to offer them something; that should be your sincere conversation and presence. They don’t even need your helping hand all the time, when they do they would ask, they sure would.
I praise all these heroes who have to live their lives amongst insensitive people like us. We make life difficult for them and God knows how much courage they have to build to go out every single day that many of us readily try to trample. Stay strong because we know you are much more stronger than we can ever be.